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Dear friends,
I hope all of you took some time away this summer. I’m writing this before a long-anticipated vacation, and I hope to return recharged and inspired.
Recently I had a conversation with a junior colleague whose career development award is ending soon and whose independent grants haven’t quite come through yet. They are discouraged, and this is natural. They described two different, innovative project ideas that have been submitted and rejected, including one which was “not discussed” at study section, which, as most of you know, means a revised version is unlikely to be funded. The unfunded grants and institutional challenges they described are real and painful, and, at the same time, as I heard them talking, I felt… optimistic. They are staring down a funding cliff without clear institutional backup, and that is a legitimately stressful position. However, what I see is a passionate scientist with tons of novel ideas and the ability to get grants written and out the door, who is going to become an independent investigator for sure. The divergence in my perspective and theirs prompted me to write this post.
Coping with rejection at work is never easy. This list of tips from multiple industries is a good reminder that professional setbacks are common and expected. Below I am delineating some coping mechanisms that come from hard-won and painful experience and from observation. It’s been instructive to me to see how differently people handle setbacks, and I encourage you to try at least one strategy that doesn’t come naturally to you.
Feel your feelings. Acknowledge being angry, sad, hurt, discouraged. If you stuff your feelings down, they’ll flood back at the most inopportune time or surface in unhealthy ways.
Share your situation. Tell tons of people that you (1) didn’t get that leadership role (2) your grant didn’t get funded, or (3) your planned collaboration didn’t work out. I promise, it helps! First, people can only support you if they know where you are. Maybe they will write you into a grant or recommend you for a role or provide other material support. Second, sharing may defuse some of the emotion and help you move on. Third, authentically sharing a failure can strengthen relationships and model a healthy work culture.
Contextualize. How hard is the thing you were trying to do? What proportion of grants/ papers/ applicants were rejected? Remember not to expect success, and then you won’t be so disappointed.
Normalize. Rejection and setbacks are part of the job and happen to everyone.
Understand why and how. This step comes later, after you’ve accepted the situation. Read your reviewers and debrief with the relevant individuals. Seek advice from a trusted mentor. Think through any lessons. You can adjust your approach the next time.
Go back to your mission. Was this role/ grant/ paper something that you really wanted, or something you felt like you should do? It’s remarkable to me how often what seems like a devastating rejection turns out to be the needed push to put us on the right path.
Rinse and repeat. Put yourself out there as often as possible. You know you’re pushing yourself if you’re getting rejected, and it gets easier with practice.
Hi to my new subscribers and, to my longstanding readers, thank you for spreading the word! Feel free to forward this email and encourage others to sign up at the bottom of the page, here.
Please keep in touch. I will amplify your successes and process any rejections too!
Be well.
Warmly,
Urmimala