Resilience

Don't Be Eaten

Dear friends,

It’s rainy, cold, and gray as I look out the window of my home office, and I find myself searching vainly for some inner sunshine. I expect I am not the only one looking forward to longer, warmer days! I hope this March finds you thriving, or at least getting by. The title of this month’s post comes from a saying in Bengali, my first language, which translates to, “If you do people favors, you’ll be eaten by tigers.”  Let me tell you the story that brought this colorful expression to mind.

Don't Follow Your Instincts

May is upon us, and it’s still raining in San Francisco! The weather is reflecting my mood as I am still trying to shake off the cold, dark, long winter. I hope all of you are embracing spring and seeing some wildflowers. My recent travel to the American College of Physicians meeting last week inspired this post. At the meeting, I had informal and impromptu discussions with two midcareer physicians who are interested in working at UCSF.

Whack-A-Mole

Here we are, February 2023. I am sending solidarity to all of you as we contemplate mass shootings, anti-Asian hate, and the terrible police-perpetrated murder of Tyre Nichols, among other injustices and crises. There are no words- just remember that you are not alone. Reach out to me anytime, be kind to each other, and be patient with yourself. Everything going on in the world continues to make it hard to focus on work.

Resolve To Do Less

I hope all of you had an opportunity to take a break at the end of 2022 and are as well as possible. This time of year, with cold weather and short days, can feel challenging. For me, it is not a natural time to make resolutions or feel motivated. I feel out of sync with the culture- everyone is packing the gym or setting out to maintain their daily meditation streak, and I just want to read in bed with a cup of tea.

Rest Please

It’s December, and if your workplace is anything like mine, everyone is scrambling to meet year-end deadlines and hand over work to colleagues before heading out to winter break. In past years I have tried to manage this increased workload and stress by asking mentees to send me work earlier in December, by blocking off meeting-free time, and by planning way ahead for time-consuming holiday tasks like addressing Christmas cards. This year, I am opting out. I recently read Rest is Resistance, by Tricia Hersey, and it has given me a new understanding about incessant work demands.

What's Your Superpower?

Happy September! Every fall feels like the start of the new year for me. We are still in tough times, and I hope you’re finding optimism in some corner of your life. In August I shared that I did not realize until I went on an extended vacation how much my workload was affecting my brain and body. I've been experimenting with reduced working hours for the last month, and I will report back to you in a future post about whether I can keep it up.

Vacation Revelation

I hope you found time for rest and fun this summer! I'm back after an extended vacation- the longest one I've taken in over 20 years. It was surreal to be completely disconnected. I didn't check email for six weeks, and I did not do any work whatsoever. We had wonderful family adventures, and the most meaningful experience was spending uninterrupted time with my teens.

The Eighth Time's the Charm

I am sending solidarity to all of you in these challenging times. Soon I’ll be leaving my routine, taking six weeks away from work to travel with my family. The last time I took this much time off was back in the twentieth century! I hardly know how to feel. Today I want to share the long and winding road that led to our latest funded grant. I’m putting in some NIH inside baseball, but there are broader lessons too.

The Best Policy

It’s March 2022, and I can’t say whether time moves quickly or slowly any more. The state of our world is hitting me hard right now, and I am sending solidarity to all who share this feeling. I spoke to a small group of mid-career faculty recently, and they followed up after the meeting with the following question: “We suggest a future blog post on techniques and strategies for supporting excellence on research teams. We admire your ability to maintain high standards for your team.” My first thought was that I don’t do anything to make my team perform at such a high level- they do it themselves. I shared this question with Sarah Lisker, our lab’s program manager, and to my surprise, she pointed out three things that I do that support high standards for our team’s work. Based on our conversation, here’s my advice.

The Proof Is In the Pudding

I’m writing to you over winter break, looking out at the snowy Sierra landscape. I hope when you’re reading this you feel recharged and ready for 2022. As you may know, I don’t agree with the “New Year, New You” mentality. I like the person you are, and I hope you do too. At the same time, I endorse wanting to learn and grow over time. Setting goals is critical for my personal growth, but when I fall short, I can succumb to unhelpful self-criticism. I want to offer you a different way to think about past and future goals.

Congratulations on Your Rejection

Recently I had a conversation with a junior colleague whose career development award is ending soon and whose independent grants haven’t quite come through yet. They are discouraged, and this is natural. They described two different, innovative project ideas that have been submitted and rejected, including one which was “not discussed” at study section, which, as most of you know, means a revised version is unlikely to be funded. The unfunded grants and institutional challenges they described are real and painful, and, at the same time, as I heard them talking, I felt. . .optimistic.

Taking Off Our Masks

How are you? It’s been a long, hard pandemic slog, but June- Pride month- is great time to find our optimism. As a Gen Xer, I’ve seen a revolution in my lifetime in how we think about our LGBTQIA friends, neighbors, and colleagues, and it gives me hope that we can make progress towards racial and gender justice. I’m starting to feel like I can see my way through the fog of the past 15 months, and it’s a good time to take stock.

Out of the Office

March was a tough month, wasn’t it? This month I want to talk about time away from work. Whether it’s for parental leave or sudden family needs of a less joyful nature, time away can cause stress for the person who taking time off, their colleagues, staff, and mentors. My underlying assumptions: (1) People experience life events in very different ways; (2) It is not a job requirement to have exemplary coping skills/ resilience in the face of life challenges, let alone personal tragedy.

Hi 2021

Here we are, at the beginning of 2021. This new year has brought such a mix of emotions. I am stepping into 2021 with great optimism, punctuated with frequent feelings of anxiety, grief, and frustration.

I don’t endorse any “New Year, New You” type of sentiment, but I do think the new year is a time for self-reflection. Even if you don’t want to make resolutions, it’s hard not to think about time passing and your future hopes. Instead of advice, here are some self-reflection questions/exercises for you to ponder. Please consider writing down your answers instead of thinking them. You will be surprised what makes its way from your brain to the page!