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Dear friends,
May is upon us, and it’s still raining in San Francisco! The weather is reflecting my mood as I am still trying to shake off the cold, dark, long winter. I hope all of you are embracing spring and seeing some wildflowers. My recent travel to the American College of Physicians meeting last week inspired this post. At the meeting, I had informal and impromptu discussions with two midcareer physicians who are interested in working at UCSF.
One person is a dear friend whom I have known since medical school, and the other I met for the first time at a networking event at the conference. My longtime friend, whom I had already connected with a leader in my department, shared his dissatisfaction with his current work. I asked why he didn’t pursue the connection with the UCSF leader to whom I had introduced him, and he said, “I wanted to get my paper out first, and it took so long to get it out there.” When I pushed my old friend further (which is what I do!), he put forth more barriers to seeking a job at UCSF: he doesn’t want to bother me, he needs to rewrite his cover letter, he’s not sure what his ideal timing, etc.
In contrast, this new acquaintance shared a lot about her background and her hopes for a new position. Before I left for the airport, she had followed me on Twitter, found me on LinkedIn, emailed me her CV and asked me to send her the link for the open medical director position in my division. I’ve only been back for 3 days, and she’s already put in her application and communicated with our chief. Now, I don’t know this person, and she doesn’t know me. Based on a 15-minute conversation over drinks, she took a leap.
What struck me the most about this experience is that my old friend would definitely tell you, or me, that he is actively looking for a job. It would never occur to him that there is another way to do it. I am sure that I too have these invisible constraints on my own behavior that are likely holding me back. So next time you sit down and plan for how to reach a goal that is daunting but important, ask yourself the following questions:
Do I really need all these steps on the way to my goal?
How might someone else approach this goal?
Whose energy can I channel to change the story? (It’s OK to channel a friend or mentor you admire, or even a fictional character.)
Sometimes acting against your initial instincts can help you get unstuck. There are some interesting studies that suggest that taking on an alter ego is an effective way to overcome your internal barriers. Some people step into a new persona for public speaking, or for negotiation. It is an interesting technique that I am inspired to try. Let me know if you test out a secret identity and how it works for you!
As always, please share widely and, if you are so inclined, sign up for the blog here. Keep in touch and do share good news so I can amplify your successes!
Warmly,
Urmimala